Day 11: Blood Is Thicker Than Water?

it's been exactly one week since my grandfather's passing, and 5 days since i actually heard the news.  today is the first day that i've felt ok, relatively speaking.  this has been an extremely difficult time for me as this is the first death that i've experienced, and the way that i received the news has left me sad, angry and confused.

3 weeks ago, my mother told me (via email...) that my grandfather had been diagnosed with a rare but treatable form of bone marrow cancer and that with a pill form of medication he would continue to live a long and happy life.  if you read my blog post from that day, you'll remember that i was quite upset that such serious news (no matter how optimistic doctors were) was delivered to me via email.  i tried to convince myself that if my mother was deeply concerned about my grandfather's health she would've taken the time to call me.  well, now i don't know what to think.

Day 10: R.I.P.

my grandfather passed away.
my grandfather passed away.
my grandfather passed away.
my grandfather passed away.
my grandfather passed away.



even writing those words it doesn't seem real.  my heart is broken and i feel hollow.  i just can't believe he's gone.  i don't know what else to say.

i love you papa.

Day 9: WTF

i've lived overseas for about two and a half months now, and i actually haven't talked to my mom on the phone since... but we do email each other at least once a week.
just so you have some background, my mom and i have never been very close.  she had me when she was young and when her mother (my grandmother) learned she was pregnant with me, she was basically disowned.
my mom and dad are very different people, and i often wonder what brought them together in high school.  my mom was the A student, star athlete type while my dad only got good marks in the arts and was a serious pot head.  really it doesn't matter, because somehow they ended up together and having an unplanned pregnancy.