Day 11: Blood Is Thicker Than Water?

it's been exactly one week since my grandfather's passing, and 5 days since i actually heard the news.  today is the first day that i've felt ok, relatively speaking.  this has been an extremely difficult time for me as this is the first death that i've experienced, and the way that i received the news has left me sad, angry and confused.

3 weeks ago, my mother told me (via email...) that my grandfather had been diagnosed with a rare but treatable form of bone marrow cancer and that with a pill form of medication he would continue to live a long and happy life.  if you read my blog post from that day, you'll remember that i was quite upset that such serious news (no matter how optimistic doctors were) was delivered to me via email.  i tried to convince myself that if my mother was deeply concerned about my grandfather's health she would've taken the time to call me.  well, now i don't know what to think.



last sunday i was hanging out with a friend when my phone showed that my baby sister had sent me a message on facebook.  i was so happy as she means the world to me.  i know that everyone (or at least most people) would say that they're siblings are important to them, but the birth of my sister really changed my life.  not only was i no longer an only child at the age of 15, until that moment i never knew it was possible to love someone as much as i love her.  i can't even say that i love any of my other family members that much... except for my little brother who came into the world 4 years later and my grams on my dad's side.
anyway, i opened the message and started reading.  it started out light but then half way through it took an unexpected turn.  she told me that my grandfather had passed away 2 days prior. she wasn't sure if our mother had had a chance to let me know the news as she had flown to see him another 2 days before he died.
at that moment i felt a multitude of emotions: sad because of the loss, angry because of the way the news was delivered and hurt because i felt like i was forgotten/didn't matter.

don't get me wrong, i can only imagine what my mom was going through herself because she just lost her father but she still made the time to tell some of our other family members at home.  i just can't understand why she couldn't take a few minutes to call me, her daughter, to let me know that my grandfather had lost his battle with cancer. instead i have to find out 2 days later via facebook.

so, aside from the obvious reasons, why did this upset me so much?

1. my own mother didn't think it was that important to call her first born child to let her know that there was a death in the family.

2. i was stripped of the opportunity to see or call my grandfather before he died.

3. the choice to go and say goodbye at the funeral was also taken away from me.

4. my little sister was the only one out of my entire family that took a second to think of me.

5.  it's been one week since his passing, and i still haven't heard from my mother.

when/if she does reach out to me, it will be interesting to see what form of communication she opts to use.  if i only get an email i don't know what i'll do.

i'm so unbelievably hurt by all of this.